Specifically, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.
T – Take advantage in any way possible everywhere you can because no one starts disciplinary actions two days before Thanksgiving, and by Monday everyone will have consumed so much alcohol enduring their families they won’t remember what you did.
U – Underperform by spending time working on your blog or social media instead of doing your work. See T.
E – Exchange all simple answers with circuitous nonsense like, “you raise a good point (name for fake sincerity), but I’m not sure we’ll get everyone’s buy-in on that if we (feigning alliance) also take into consideration the other side of this coin that negates at least a portion of the point in question. Tell you what, let me do some thinking on it, and we’ll put our heads together on Monday. Sound good? Hey I hope you have a great holiday!” [turn on your heel and walk away, or rise from your chair and herd the person out of your office]
S - Say “I said tip” in a sentence with a straight face, and then roll your eyes condescendingly if anyone reacts to it. Thank La La at Tales of a Charm City Chick for the inspiration.
D – Depart early, so you can get a head start on whatever it is you’d rather be doing than working.
A – Arrive late, so you can avoid whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing at work.
Y – Say “yikes” to any request made of you, look concerned, and then explain it will take much longer than it sounds like it would (so you can continue goofing off and begin working on the request on Monday).
Do you have any terrible work advice to pass along? Please tell us – we all need more ways to annoy and alienate the people we work with.
