I received this e-mail yesterday…
Dear Parents,
Unfortunately there was an incident at the center this afternoon involving two teachers in a physical altercation. No children were involved or injured. It occurred at naptime in the Toddler 1 room…
[I have to stop here because really, it's just too genius. Teachers fighting in the TODDLER room???]
Most of the toddlers slept through the incident and weren’t aware of the situation.
[I would give anything to know precisely how these jackasses were caught. Did non-fighting teachers hear slapping and shrieking? Or, maybe a bloody teacher emerged from the Toddler room like Carrie, and a giant scene erupted?]
I have filed a report with [omitted for privacy because lawsuits are tedious and expensive], and with the police. Both of the teachers involved are terminated.
Please know that our children’s safety and wellbeing will always be our first priority.
[Really? That doesn't feel entirely accurate based on the content of this e-mail.]
If you have further questions, please see only [fake name or fake name]. We ask that you do not question our teachers about this unfortunate incident.
[Because we are so mortified that it happened at CHURCH].
This is my favorite part. There was no reason for me to receive this terribly embarrassing e-mail because Anna isn’t even enrolled in their after-care program anymore.
I yanked her out of it a month ago…because she was being bullied.
