I might be the only mother in America who doesn’t think Miley should be burned and fed to Satan. I’m okay with it.
I’m more concerned about Anna’s taste in music than the dancing that goes along with it. If Miley Cyrus wants to get down and funky busting out her stripper moves, good for her. How is that any different from Madonna, Michael Jackson and Prince who were grabbing crotches and grinding on their back-up dancers in the early 80’s? We’ve been seeing this for THIRTY years. Why is everyone losing their mind?
In my opinion, any time we shame someone for expressing their sexuality, we limit our own. When we repress others, we repress ourselves. Why would we do that each other? It makes everyone feel like crap. The person being criticized feels bad. The people doing the criticizing live in fear of being judged. Meanwhile, most men quietly wish their very upstanding girlfriends, wives and mothers of their child(ren) would be more confident and open sexually. How can we be open to that when we live in fear of being labeled slutty? No one is winning. Except Miley because the whole world is talking about her right now and she’ll probably get another seven-figure book deal out of it.
It disturbs me when something this simple gets our puritan nation up in arms. Miley has a vagina. We know this. She probably likes to use it. So what. So do most people who have a vagina. NOT NEWS.
It’s irritating to me that this international conversation is perpetuating the never-ending tiresome myth that women are supposed to appear almost asexual in public. We aren’t encouraged to acknowledge our sexuality, let alone express it freely. It’s a shame. Mainly because sex is an absolute basic need. Observe the bottom rung of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
photo credit: eppic.biz
There it is at the very bottom: Sex. Along with breathing, food, water, sleep, homeostasis and excretion.
No one attacks girls for sleeping a certain way. Gahd look at her pillows – what a slut. I can’t believe she breathes so much. Whore. She drinks entirely too much water – where did her mother go wrong? And the way she uses the bathroom when she has to pee? Total toilet tramp. Don’t even get me started on how her teeth chatter when she’s cold and she eats food if she’s hungry. Society is breaking down.
But everyone freaks out if a woman shows any sign of being sexual.
I’ve been asked 20 times by people totally aghast at my nonchalant attitude toward Miley’s performance, “well would you want Anna up there dancing like that?!?!?!?”
Here’s my answer: If it makes her happy, then yes.
Gasp! But guys will think she’s a SLUT!
So? If she’s not having sex with them, then that would be a falsehood then wouldn’t it?
But. People will talk about her!
So? I hope she’s confident enough to know it would be bullshit and to tell people to fuck all the way off.
Someone’s style of dancing is not an indicator of how much they use their vagina or with whom. Well unless they’re on the pole at a strip club, but even then you still don’t really know. But even if you did, so WHAT? Guys don’t ostracize each other for getting laid. Why do women?
My personal opinion is a lot of the finger-pointing and judging comes down this: I would never be comfortable doing that, so I don’t want anyone else to be either. I can say this because that’s true for me. Just the first part, not the second. I took a stripper pole class with some friends and I was amazed at how self-conscious I was. In spite of the fact that it was a room full of girls only, who all paid to attend the class, who were all very positive about the experience.
When I think about going on stage trying to pull off what Miley did, here’s what I know would go through my mind: oh my gahd, what if I start my period when I’m all bent over doing the stripper shake? I should wear a tampon just in case, wait the string might show. I should cut the string really short to be sure, but what if I can’t get it out and I end up at the ER in a nude bikini asking a medical professional to fetch a lost tampon? What if when I bend over to grind on Dooshy Thickemonster my butt hits his junk too hard and I go ricocheting off him head first into the audience? What if repeatedly licking my own face makes my lipstick smear everywhere and I don’t know I look like drunken clown until I see it on YouTube?
See? Not sexy.
So when I look at Miley, and EVERY OTHER dancer getting their stripper moves on, I don’t judge. I marvel at how uninhibited they are. I’m inspired by their willingness to own their sexuality instead of renting it. I thank them for raging against the machine of prejudice that women can’t be openly sexual or sensual without being labeled a slutty tramp or valueless whore.
Instead of squelching a part of basic humanity with shame and fear, why don’t we embrace it and be nice to each other so the script is changed.
Otherwise, I want new writers please.
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