Nitrous Oxide should be plentiful in certain situations. Particularly parties, finance meetings, and dentistry. I’ve never experienced it in the first two, mainly because drugs are frowned upon where I work, but it’s an absolute necessity for the third.
For those of you just joining us, this is the follow-up to the recent shitty dental experience I had wherein I broke up with my dentist. Short story: she wouldn’t give me enough gas to prevent me wanting to punch her in the tit. So I left before any work was started. Her office was tacky anyway.
The next day the clouds parted and a glittery unicorn lead me to The Atlanta Dental Spa. It looks like this:
You’re greeted here by Kayleigh.
You relax here while you wait for them to bring out the resort wear (in your imagination).
You can also relax here while waiting for the resort wear to appear.
They have refreshments and snacks – yay!
Your designated driver can work or play here.
The water features make you feel peaceful, and like you have to pee. They have stylish bathrooms.
It’s all so fabulous and civilized, it seems more like they’ll be taking you back to enjoy a hand-crafted cocktail and artisanal cheese plate rather than to jab needles in your gums. Trickery at it’s finest.
Also, everyone in the office wears black scrubs. Super chic, no?
Here are the Doctors.
Here are the Hygienists.
They’re a beautiful group of kind and talented people completely dedicated to your health and comfort. Totally dreamy, and spa-like.
Bonus: they give you enough gas to knock your anxiety-monkey nervous ass OUT. Then no one gets punched in the tit, teeth are lovely, and everyone’s happy. Hooray!
They also offer the fancy IV sedation version of knock your anxiety-monkey nervous ass REALLY, REALLY OUT. For some people this is the only way they will go to the dentist, even for a simple cleaning. Thus, our friends at The Atlanta Dental Spa are real heroes. Periodontal disease is no joke, y’all. That shit can kill you.
Let’s talk about money. I took one look at the place and went uh-huh, they charge three times as much for EVERYTHING. Wrong. Their prices are perfectly in line with what every other dentist in town charges. I’m a finance brat – you know I called my insurance company and went over every line of my proposed treatment plan. That’s impressive. It also means every other dentist sucks. Okay that was harsh, but seriously, no need to go to dental hell when you can go to dental heaven for the same price, hullloh.
So, my teeth are engaged to the Atlanta Dental Spa. We’re planning a lovely spring wedding in Monaco, at a venue that looks just like their office.
