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Striving to Sitwell
Dame Edith SitwellDaily Mail If you’re not familiar with this amazing woman/genius/poet, don’t feel bad. I wasn’t either until I read her quote yesterday, “I have often wished I had time to cultivate...
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So About That Murder…
This is the follow-up to the jury duty freak show. We walked into the courtroom and there two black teenage boys seated at a table wearing clothes that didn’t fit them. They looked like kids we see...
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The Verdict on that Gang Murder
You already know what happened on the first day of the trial. Here’s what happened next. A detective testified they apprehended Defendants #1 and #2 in a car together. They found two .45 caliber...
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Yes it can totally be too long.
But if you follow this awesome advice from smart researchy people it’s manageable. Win! Thank You Buffer! Full disclosure: I didn’t read the whole article. Because it was too long. Oh, irony is...
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What it Really takes to Get a Girl in Bed…
A full moon. On the wall. The rest of the galaxy on the ceiling. A salt rock light. Spa music to set the tone. Proper bedding. Namely pinky, bluey, and the Disney souvenir blanket. A dream catcher....
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Stalking and Ransom Notes: the Key to Free Housing
Nothing will make me run to my keyboard faster than the chance to openly mock something stupid. In this case it’s millennial protesters stomping around San Francisco whining at tech employees and...
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What to do when You’re a Creepy Mouth-Breather
Read Twindaddy’s answers to the Saturday 9 questions and then play the game. Btw, he’s not the creepy mouth-breather. I am. But just for today. The trees are mating and the pollen is so thick the...
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Why You Should Have Sex Immediately.
I was floating around the pool sipping my boat drink thinking about sex, like I do, and my thoughts drifted to this specific question: why are women so powerful and outspoken in every area of their...
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Vacation Bucket List: Show Butt to Strangers
The conversation usually goes like this: “Hey babe – can you watch the kids for a bit? I need to go to the store for a few things.” Not like this: “Hey babe – can you watch the kids for a bit? My ass...
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I did not lose my virginity to a clown
This tidbit as well as some other important things about growing up on the circus can be found in my interview on the Kenny and Kylie Show. I was their guest yesterday on the weekly podcast hosted by...
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#TBThursday: why leg warmers will always reign supreme
Because this video… Have an awesome Thursday, y’all! Love, Molly
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Why girls slip and fall on other dicks
This is a compilation of top complaints I’ve heard from girls over the years. Yours free of charge. How to avoid having your girl slip and fall on another dick. If you’re not going to show up, call...
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Why guys slip and fall into other vaginas
This is a compilation of what I’ve heard from guys over the years. Yours free of charge. Here’s how to avoid having your guy slip and fall into another vagina. 1. Tell him he’s wonderful – give him...
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Where were you last night?
Oh shit y’all. I went to my very first country music concert! SpecTACular people watching event. Did you know only girls wear cowboy boots now? I had no idea. Most of them were dressed like this:...
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International You’re Wonderful Day 2014
I gave some pri-tee solid advice recently on how to prevent dudes from slipping and falling into other vaginas…and then realized I haven’t done the first one on the list lately. Shit! #1 reads as...
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Make the game your bitch
I read a post last night that made me feel like a real parental dumb-ass. I want you to read it, too. Not because I want you to feel like a dumb-ass, but because I’m interested in what the outcome of...
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The Devil is hot pink
It’s a common misconception that the Devil is red and carries a pitchfork. I want to clear that up for you right now, and I can because I met the Devil last night. I was promised all my suffering...
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“Will you please start arguing???”
It’s an odd question to want to ask my 10-year-old, but clearly the best time to change parenting strategies is when you’re more than half way through… I told Anna I would buy her a new bike yesterday...
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But what if your crotch gets addicted?
Hey there’s a new vaginal marijuana potion that produces a 15-minute climax. Que en el mundo? Speaking of being high, this guy is trying to enter the stratosphere in an air balloon using batteries,...
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