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The Tao of Hector.
It was clear to me that death was imminent: listless, poor appetite, and nearly unresponsive. So, I did what all neurotic Betta fish owners do in this situation: panic + Google. Multiple sites and...
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Sometimes you just HAVE to…
Choose the perfect fabric. Buy a beginner sewing machine. Read the directions. Ask the fashion gods for assistance. And celebrate the mermaid tail! Then switch gears for Girls’ Night. (Jaime and...
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The Platinum Lining.
It crept into our house while we were sleeping. I didn’t hear it climbing up the stairs, but something woke me up. I went downstairs and opened the door that lead down into our basement. That’s when...
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10 Reasons I Shouldn’t be Hosting a Dinner Party for Six Fabulous Gay Boys...
1. My yard looks like this: 2. My driveway looks like this: 3. I just noticed this above my front door (and no, it’s not leftover Halloween decorations) 4. My deck looks like this: 5. My fireplace...
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NaBloPoMo – Day 9,034,854
Anna and I got up at 6:40am for the Girls on the Run 5k. I wore these ridiculous Hello Kitty ear muff thingies because they give me magic powers. We went to IHOP and ate 9,000 calories afterward. Then...
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How to Pull a Dinner Party out of your Ass.
Specifically, a dinner party for six Fabulous Gay Boys. My house looked like this at 10am. If you ever find yourself in this situation, here’s what to do next. Sweep your driveway. Rake your yard...
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Runways are Fun.
This is how I feel trying to write a post tonight. If you’re not on this NaBloPoMo party train, you are MISSING OUT. Sleep and clean clothes are totally overrated.
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The Twisty Path of No.
You know how when you get a “no” to something really important you get all bitter-shitpissed about it? If you’re one of those wise and gentle souls who doesn’t lose their mind when they hear “no”...
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Disney Loves Crossdressers.
All the minions in Despicable Me are boys, which is why I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they’re in hula outfits and French maid costumes in the movie. Yay Disney! So progressive of them, no? photo credit:...
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The Impossible Dream – A New Musical About Work.
This is what’s happening today if anybody says some stupid shit to me. Note: ”stupid shit” means any words that aren’t spoken or written by me. Oh you want to know why so crabby, Princess...
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My Little Brony – the Truth about Ponyville.
There’s a whole group of “bros” out there obsessed with My Little Pony. Yes, the animated series made for tiny children about a unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle who goes to the magical land of...
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When the Fruit Falls so Far it’s in Another Orchard.
My room looks like this: Anna’s room looks like this: It’s the live-action version of Where’s Waldo? Seriously our bunny is in this pic. The first person to find Hugh wins. Meanwhile I’m going to...
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Tips (I said tip) for an Awesome Monday.
M - make someone feel as special as they are – tell them the top three reasons you’re happy they’re in your life. O - own the day by setting aside 15-60 minutes just for you – do anything that makes...
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That Girl at the Party Who Won’t Stop Talking.
Yeah, that’s me thanks to NaBloPoMo. At Day 19, the logo looks like this in my mind: If this were a pageant instead of a writing challenge, and I won, my glittery sash would read: North American...
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Vanity Fare.
It started with this bedtime conversation my nine-year old daughter and I had recently. Anna: Mommy I weigh too much. I weigh like 70 or 80 pounds. My belly pokes out. It’s not flat like yours. [My...
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Dinner Party Mouth Bombs.
This is why I love my friends. Here’s a random sample from last night: “Was that S&M Barbie?” “You didn’t say I couldn’t bring a midget, bitch.” “I was pulled out of the creek bed by a Hells Angel...
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How to Party with Your Ex-Husband.
Invite these girls (the ones who dropped the dinner party mouth bombs)… And this lady… And these guys…(no flattering picture available – sorry Ben and Michael) And have a surprise birthday dinner party...
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This Lady is Hot Shit.
This is my grandmother. She’s one of my most favorite people on the planet. She paved the way for me. She paved the way for all the girls in our family. To rebel. To say what we think. To go to...
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One of These Things Will Not Set You Free.
Hey I read Aussa’s awesome post, and then immediately stole her idea, which she encouraged because she stole it from Jen at Sips of Jen and Tonic. I hope Jen stole it from someone else because then we...
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If I Ever Bust My Ass Like This I Hope I’m Wearing Chanel.
I also hope I’m not wearing a thong. The only reason I don’t feel bad posting this is because I’m sure she recovered nicely on a yacht somewhere off the coast of France, and later attended the Vanity...
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